Q: ARE PEOPLE SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THIS THING?

A: I DON’T CARE.

Q: WHAT IF SOMEONE GETS HURT?

A: OF COURSE SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET HURT. I ALREADY HURT MYSELF MAKING THEM.

Q: ARE PAINCASES ETHICALLY MADE AND SUSTAINABLY SOURCED?

A: NO. NEITHER WAS YOUR PHONE OR REALLY ANYTHING YOU OWN.

Q: HOW MUCH WILL A PAINCASE COST?

A: TOO MUCH, PROBABLY.

Q: WILL I STILL BE ABLE TO CHARGE MY PHONE?

A: YES. DO YOU THINK I’M A LUNATIC?

Q: WHERE CAN I GET PAINCASE MERCH?

A: NO. THAT IS JUNK AND THE WORLD IS FULL OF IT ALREADY.

MORE QUESTIONS? KINDLY CONTACT US.